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Dream in Red

'Can I taste the Passion fruit flavor?' My eyes did not leave hers even for a second.

They were enthralling. I didn't know what she did to them but they were beautiful, almost leaving me short of air to breathe.

‘Here.’ She offered me the tiny plastic spoon, its red clashing with the almost fluoroscent colour of the passion fruit ice cream.

I took it, my eyes still latched on to hers. The guy at the counter was staring at me. I could feel it. I was still not sure how they were related. There was a very distinct and real possibility that she was his wife. But how? He couldn't have got to her of all people. She was beautiful. Smooth dark skin, not a single blemish as far as my eyes could reach. And those eyes, they were dark.Dark and intoxicating. There were no other words for them. She hardly spoke. A sentence at the most was it.

'Shall I give you a scoop?'

I was broken out of my thoughts, immediately shifting my eyes away from hers to the different ice creams beneath the display glass. I took my hands off it and asked for a scoop of Vanilla, trying hard not to look at her eyes.

'Small or medium?'

'Huh..?'

'Would you like a medium sized scoop?'

'No... I'll take the small one' My eyes finding hers once again and pausing. She was looking at me. My eyes.

‘Are you sure?’

I caught my breath. I nodded or I thought I did.

The constant whir of the freezer dulled and stopped. Everything fell silent. Eyes. I could see every single fleck in her iris. They were beautiful.

So beautiful… Sexy.

I could feel my heart beat faster, harder. My face heating up. The sudden rush of blood into my head. The giddiness. I could feel every inch of my body. Of what she was doing to me.

I wanted her. I just wanted to rip into her.

Her eyes, deep and needy. Begging me to take her into the night.

I wanna fuck you.

I thought it.

She smiled.

What the hell! Shake out of it, you Bastard!! I tried to pull my eyes away. I couldn't.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't breathe. It jolted me. I tried to draw in air hard, only to choke when nothing came.

Wha-..

My mouth stayed shut. Not a sound. Nothing moved. My mind screamed. My eyes burned.

Look Away!! I screamed hoarse. Now! Nothing. I was trapped in her eyes. Deep black abysses. My thoughts lost coherence as the haziness crept along my vision.

She turned and reached for a waffle cone.

The freezer whirred.

I stumbled back, terrified, barely stopping myself from falling.

I was breathing. Wh..what was that? I felt my palms, they were cold. I was cold. My breaths were deep and long. My heart-beat slow and unwavering. I looked around and saw the couple sitting on the bright red chairs. When did they come in? They were engrossed whispering things to each other oblivious to everything else.Didn't they see anything?! I was shivering inside and I could feel the same coldness creep up my spine. The guy at the counter had his eyes glued to his billing machine. I looked down through the glass at the ice creams in the freezer. I saw her hand reach in and scoop out some vanilla into the cone. My mouth was dry.

I should go. Leave. I turned around and started walking. She didn’t stop me. I'm imagining things. He didn't even look away from his machine once. Definitely imagining things.

I felt stupid. But I still couldn’t get rid of her dark eyes from my head. I just wanted to leave.

I was certain. And as I stepped across the glass door, I turned to look at her, hoping to reassure myself, only to stare into nothing.

She was just here!

I looked a little carefully at the back wall. The thin outline of a door was visible, cleverly fitted into the pattern of the wallpaper.

Heh..ha ha.. Idiot.

I laughed to myself, feeling stupid and relieved. I shook my head to clear it and started walking on to the wet road.

Odd. I thought as I watched myself walk to the middle of the road. That's not where I wa-

I felt nothing when the truck rammed into me.

I just lay there on the wet cold road. Paralyzed. Choking on my blood. I tried to focus my eyes and saw the blood splattered truck fender shimmer into view a few yards away. Blood dropped into my eyes, burning them. Before everything blurred, I barely made out the neon red signboard above the windshield.

‘Vanilla Dreams’ It read.

Heh..ha ha.. Idiot. I thought as it all faded.

Before you go

'I have always wanted to come in... drove me nuts, knowing you were inside and not seeing you...'

'Why didn't you?' It felt natural for me to ask that question, but it was foolish and she knew that I knew.

I looked at the narrow chest high gate. The black paint had started wilting. It was as if no one had lived there since I left. I pushed the gate open, feeling the cold iron in my hand, almost expecting it to creak. I was being foolish again. It swung open smoothly, almost mockingly. So much for it being abandoned.

I wish it had started drizzling. That would have been nice.

'Well this is it' I said looking at front door. It was locked. A familiar 7 lever Godrej lock was staring at me with no sense of recognition. I remember the key. There was nothing special about it except for a slight bent where my dad's car drove over it ages ago. I suppose it still has it.

'Its locked.' she said her eyes dimming a bit.

They were always full, her eyes, with life, with love.

'I used to imagine coming inside your house for some reason and then seeing you... I wanted to see everything about you...' she trailed off.

I followed her eyes as she looked through the grill into the darkness. I stayed silent.

'I wanted you to invite me in if things worked out' She laughed and said. 'Looks like it was never meant to happen. It would have been nice though, kanna... small wishes, if they were granted.' She looked at me, as if urging me to grant her one.

'I wish I had...' I said. I smiled, an ache deep within. Regrets. For the time that we lost, so carelessly...never realising. Maybe our future could have been different.

I hated these. What ifs.

What if we hadn't met?

What if I had seen it earlier?

What if...

'Ennachu da?' she asked, her eyes cutting across all my defenses.

'Nothing...' I said, to her narrowing eyes.

The sky was overcast now, a shade darker, maybe it would drizzle now.

'Pokalam... There is nothing for us here.' I said turning away from her. The road leading to our old school was empty. It was closure... tracing our steps back here. Stepping back years. The school seemed smaller than I could remember but the memories had tugged at us from every corner. I could still feel the way her hand had tightened around mine when we walked into that empty classroom.

Her eyes were on my back, waiting patiently for me to say something more. I felt angry. There was nowhere for us to go from here. We were fools... trying to stretch our past, trying to barter with time. I felt sad. Angry more than sad. We were going to lose. And she knew it, always, more than me. Even now... she knows. I wanted to hate her. Why did we come here?

I felt her arms slip around my sides, her face coming to rest on my back. She was warm.

'I love you.' She whispered into me.

I didn't say anything. The silence stretched. I felt it then. Drops. Tiny ones, thrown around by the wind, coming to lay rest on us.

It was beginning to rain.

She drew herself more to me, her arms tightening... her fingers finding mine.

I love her. There was never anything to the contrary.

We will walk in the rain, through the paths we always have...

I heard her say, her voice muffled 'Lets... not think about anything else kanna...' I closed my eyes.

We will walk in the rain, everything else forgot.