Sinking...

Allow me some leeway here my good people...

Can you believe it? I am so bored... so freaking bored... in office that
i start this blog in a txt file so i can upload it later. As usual I have an ulterior motive: To improve my writing skills to such an extend so that one day i may write and publish my
own book which will go on to win many prizes shooting me into fame; but me being the person i am will shrug it all off and will live life unadulterated, travelling using the money that i earned from the publishers and after long years when age has finally caught up with me and wrestled me to the ground I shall kick the bucket on age, on my terms and get one up on the slimy reaper and as a master stroke leave all my riches to my descendants and as charity and from there on I shall live in the minds and hearts of my readers, as a legacy undying. Nice, isnt it?

Anyway keeping all what i said in mind under layers of misdirection, cunning and innocence I shall continue with my work.

.......... Ok. I am at a loss of words now. Guess, all that took a lot out of me. I am sick of my job, that too just in a week's time. Is that normal? hmm... I feel like quitting. I feel like chucking it all. I hate feeling like that. I hate to be restrained. I wanna be Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I wanna be a lot from a lot of people. I cant think of single person for a role model. I want a lot obviously.
Hmmm... I hate being pulled back. I hate having no control. I hate pretenses but everyone is a victim of that. Cant hate everyone. Reading back, I feel like there's a lot of hate in me for it to be
a good thing. Will I become a sociopath? Maybe hate is too strong a word for what I feel. Hmmm...Maybe detest. You can detest and still live with it. I doubt if you can hate and do so. I am not going to be a sociopath. I wanna be V in V for Vendetta. I want to effect insufferable pain upon those men responsible for the Incident. Dirty thoughts are ok. Everybody has them. Many people look. You cant stop that. Some seek voyeuristic pleasure from it. That is bearable with great reluctance when compared to the execution of those despicable thoughts. Action is not allowable not under any means. Not like what happened. How men turn into beasts on ceding control. Sometimes without.

Why is death penalty such a bad thing? Why should men who have committed such vile crimes be allowed to live? The age old debate of Who gives us right to decide life. What of deciding deciding the fate of one who has done so for another? is it not logical? He sacrificed his right to decide his life the moment he took control of someone else's. Cant this be justice when applied to intentional crimes of such inhumane level ? Why shouldn't a serial rapist be tortured to death? Why shouldn't the sentence for rape be castration? I cant write. My mind is flooded with arguments, counter arguments, justifications, reasoning from both stances. What should be done? What is the right thing to be done? Who decides if its right? Would the things called right change with time? Is it right that there is no constant for right and wrong? I feel frustrated. Everything is complex. A hundred threads tying it together with a thousand other. A system for which there is no right solution. Disappointing.

Wet!!!!

I am not sure where i should start from....should it be from the night when my two room mates and me wound up having a nice chat with the watchman at three in the morning simply because we couldnt oblige ourselves to be the happy victims of the blood fest organized by our very own Maharashtra State Electricity Board along with the very notorious, Bombay Council of She-Mosquitoes, Thane division. We mounted a counter attack which resulted in heavy losses for the enemy but unfortunately for us their forces far outnumbered us and their reinforcements kept pouring in and there was nothing we could except run and live to fight another day. Needless to say we enjoyed our little tryst with the morning chill and only returned to our beds after we had freaked out our poor watchman.

God must have taken a coffee break on my file because you see things didnt just get better then, they got infinitely hilarious and some more as I woke up early in the morning at nine or so to the frantic shouts of my helpless roomie Ambu. I woke up to find my huge ( like huge in a polar bear: relate to homosapiens) friend perched precariously on his bed like a giant Dodo. unable to comprehend anything i looked for my other roomie only to find a quilt in wild black and white designs wrapped around a deformed god knows what shape with only a deep rumble to give away the identity of that malformed creature. I had a movie moment then, everything just tuned out and i couldn't understand what my bird/bear friend was shrieking, i couldnt understand what was happening.. i didnt even understand why i was awake at that time of the day and all i wanted to do was just go back to sleep. And just like that somebody turned it all back on again and Slowly things started registering in my mind. First, ambu was loud and was talking about water. Second, I could hear a stream near by. Third, my hand felt wet. fourth, fifth and the rest, Water and water and water and so on respectively. I would like to take a kutti break here and say that we did have our doubts about our house... we had a feeling that the broker was getting a sweet deal...we even had divine intervention when the house door refused to open to let us in on three different occasions but we were young and bold and we didnt care.

so coming back to that morning: i really dont know what happened next because its all blurry to me right now, i know that my body reacted with perfectly sequenced steps to face the problem. you see we were flooded. There were three beds, one with my flightless friend, the other with the snoring bulk and then me on my bed, half out of my sleeping bag ( yes, i use one while sleeping on the bed for various reasons that i do not wish to divulge now). All of us in water. the makeshift tank meant for storing corporation water had overflown; my nearby stream! What a finish for such a wonderful night! we had some quality time after that, filled with joyous camaraderie of young men engaged in hard bread winning physical work, in our case, mopping.

Epilogue :
It took three days for the beds to dry and to top it all our room got flooded the day after and the day after that. By then we had become experts at handling the situation. Ambu could make sense now cawing at me and kaushik had ascended to a level of partial awareness during the moments of crisis and i had automated my self completely to do the necessary while asleep and all of us had conditioned ourselves to really not care so that we cud just continue to sleep in our private swamp after the needful was done.


I am tired now and i have a day shift tomorrow. So ill write about the rest later....

Ciao