Sinking...

Allow me some leeway here my good people...

Can you believe it? I am so bored... so freaking bored... in office that
i start this blog in a txt file so i can upload it later. As usual I have an ulterior motive: To improve my writing skills to such an extend so that one day i may write and publish my
own book which will go on to win many prizes shooting me into fame; but me being the person i am will shrug it all off and will live life unadulterated, travelling using the money that i earned from the publishers and after long years when age has finally caught up with me and wrestled me to the ground I shall kick the bucket on age, on my terms and get one up on the slimy reaper and as a master stroke leave all my riches to my descendants and as charity and from there on I shall live in the minds and hearts of my readers, as a legacy undying. Nice, isnt it?

Anyway keeping all what i said in mind under layers of misdirection, cunning and innocence I shall continue with my work.

.......... Ok. I am at a loss of words now. Guess, all that took a lot out of me. I am sick of my job, that too just in a week's time. Is that normal? hmm... I feel like quitting. I feel like chucking it all. I hate feeling like that. I hate to be restrained. I wanna be Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I wanna be a lot from a lot of people. I cant think of single person for a role model. I want a lot obviously.
Hmmm... I hate being pulled back. I hate having no control. I hate pretenses but everyone is a victim of that. Cant hate everyone. Reading back, I feel like there's a lot of hate in me for it to be
a good thing. Will I become a sociopath? Maybe hate is too strong a word for what I feel. Hmmm...Maybe detest. You can detest and still live with it. I doubt if you can hate and do so. I am not going to be a sociopath. I wanna be V in V for Vendetta. I want to effect insufferable pain upon those men responsible for the Incident. Dirty thoughts are ok. Everybody has them. Many people look. You cant stop that. Some seek voyeuristic pleasure from it. That is bearable with great reluctance when compared to the execution of those despicable thoughts. Action is not allowable not under any means. Not like what happened. How men turn into beasts on ceding control. Sometimes without.

Why is death penalty such a bad thing? Why should men who have committed such vile crimes be allowed to live? The age old debate of Who gives us right to decide life. What of deciding deciding the fate of one who has done so for another? is it not logical? He sacrificed his right to decide his life the moment he took control of someone else's. Cant this be justice when applied to intentional crimes of such inhumane level ? Why shouldn't a serial rapist be tortured to death? Why shouldn't the sentence for rape be castration? I cant write. My mind is flooded with arguments, counter arguments, justifications, reasoning from both stances. What should be done? What is the right thing to be done? Who decides if its right? Would the things called right change with time? Is it right that there is no constant for right and wrong? I feel frustrated. Everything is complex. A hundred threads tying it together with a thousand other. A system for which there is no right solution. Disappointing.